Michael Beans was playing again at Marina Cay and we took the Petty’s to the show.  Dan had been practicing his conch blowing skills for about a week now, in preparation for the Conch Shell Blowing Contest. He was getting good!  We timed him up to about 44 seconds.   The winner is crowned King Conch and gets a big bottle of Pusser’s Rum.  Not bad!  We figured Dan had it wrapped up.

 Michael Beans show is pretty good entertainment.  He sings some, tells jokes, and passes out free rum.  He is a good entertainer and everyone has a good time.  Dan and I got a free shot of rum during the “Name the Pirate” contest.  Tessa took my picture while I was up in front getting my shot.  That was a mother daughter bonding moment!  Collin won a shot of rum for his pirate toast, but since he is only 7, he had to give the rum to Karon.   Another Hallmark moment. 

Soon it was time for the main event, Conch Shell Blowing Contest.  They have an adult and kids contest.  Tessa, Alec and another older boy competed.  The older boy won, but Tessa and Alec got a prize for trying.  We were proud of them just for trying……….in a bar.  (Can you tell we have started to lower our standards?)

The naked couples were there.

“Look kids!  There’s the couples that were naked on their boat.  They really have no decency.  Collin!  Win Mommy another shot of rum, son!!” 

It’s all relative in the islands!

Now it was time for the adult contest.  There were about 7 contestants, including Dan.  The first went down miserably, and our and Dan’s confidence was high.  Dan’s turn.  He picked up the conch, started to blow and we settled in to what we thought would be a 40 second wait. But no!!! Something happens!  At 29 seconds he is out!!  Will that be enough?

Two more contestants to go, a woman and a man.  She takes the conch and is strong.  15 seconds we start to worry.  Twenty seconds and we are in a full sweat.  Twenty five seconds and I know I am going to have to cause a distraction!!  26 seconds, 27 seconds, 28 seconds.   She is done at 28 seconds.  That was too close!!!  Dan was worried.  The guy went next.  He seemed a little too calm, and we all wondered if he wasn’t a ringer.  Could he be a professional?  But no.  After about 15 seconds he was out. 

Dan won!!!! The crowd cheered!!!  Michael Bean’s knighted him King Conch, handed Dan his bottle of rum and said “Do your victory dance!!”

Dan had no dance.  Pure panic!!!  He hastily did a move that was a cross between an Irish Jig and something that is illegal in 20 states.  But he had his bottle of rum and the love of his family, friends, the bar, and the weird naked couple. What more can you ask for?

 It was too rough for us to enjoy Sandy Spit, a beautiful, tiny, uninhabited island, so we headed across to

Cane Garden Bay. The kids hit the beach, Alan and Dan found some hammock chairs at Elm Beach Bar and Karon and I went shopping.  The beach is getting back to normal after the big storm a few weeks ago.  At Myatt’s gift shop, she said the water had come up through the bar and stopped just outside the store. That was good because there’s a lot of tradition in the beach bars here, Rhymers, Quitos, Elm Beach, Stanely’s to name a few.  Most sailors, including us and our friends have great memories here.

After shopping, Karon and I found Dan and Alan.  They hadn’t moved from the chairs, but they had news.  They indicated two couples not far from us. 

“Those are the people who were naked on the boat.”

Yes, the naked dudes were here.  We saw them when we came into the harbor earlier.  The guy came to collect the mooring ball fee, and the younger guy paid for it, naked.  DUDE! 

“How did you recognize them?  Did you follow them into the bathroom?”

They recognized the older guy as he was wearing the same shirt, shoes and hat we had seen him in earlier.  So they did have clothes.  They just chose not to wear them.  And the weird thing is I think they are American or Canadian and this is definitely a more European behavior.  Strange.

The kids played on the beach some more and we watched a beautiful sunset from the Elm Beach Bar.  The next day we were off to Marina Cay.

  On the beach

 Alec putting up the flag

Alan was the first to notice. We were enjoying a relaxing morning inside Alegria, in Little Harbor Jost Van Dyke.  The kids were in Tristan’s room playing a game, a beautiful sun was shining, the goats were calling on the hillside.  All that was spoiled when Alan said:

“I think those two guys in the boat behind us are naked.”

A moment’s pause before we all jumped to the window.  Sure enough, there in the cockpit of the monohull about forty feet away from us, one guy was totally naked and the other had a shirt on but no pants.  This is a very small harbor and the boats and the mooring balls are very close together here, so they had to know everyone could see them, but they seemed very much at ease.  At one point, the guy who was totally naked went forward and stood by the mast for the entire harbor to see.  DUDE!  What are you thinking?

Now I’m not a prude, and if someone wants to go naked, by all means have at it, BUT, not in a small harbor where everyone can see you.  Can you not wait ten minutes until you leave the harbor and strip? 

After watching for awhile (and who could turn away?) we finally saw one woman appear and later another.  Apparently it was two couples, on a very small sailboat.  The women, however, stayed fully clothed.  Thankfully the kids stayed downstairs and didn’t see anything.  For us, it was like watching a train wreck, we couldn’t stop watching.  A few questions came to mind.  They were on a thirty six foot monohull.  That’s tight quarters for 2 couples. If they aren’t wearing clothes outside the boat, they surely aren’t wearing them below. At minimum there was some naked bumping into each other. UGH!

 According to the judges (us!), one of the guys seemed older than the other, which led to all kinds of speculations as to the relationship.  The worst of all possible scenarios was “Father-Son”.  EEWW!!!  Could you imagine going naked with your Dad?  It took us awhile to get that thought out of our heads. (No offence Dad!)

Fortunately, they were getting ready to leave.  The older guy who is just wearing a shirt obviously is worried about the sun because before he goes to the front of the boat, he puts on a hat!  A hat!!!  Not pants as most people would, but a hat!  Oh, and shoes, he put on shoes, because obviously you could stub your toe on something.  We all watch him head to the front of the boat to release the mooring ball.  He’s checking the lines, we keep watching.  He’s signaling back to other naked guy, we keep watching. We can see him straining from the side (naked straining is again not pretty!).  Suddenly their boat turns. Instead of a side view we now have the full naked BUTT view.   He bends over and….

 DUDE!!!  NOT COOL DUDE!!!  NOT COOL!!!

We waited until they were well ahead of us before we left, because as you know, “If you aren’t the lead dog, the view never changes!”